I did have withdrawals in the beginning…I’m not joking. I’m a stay t home of two small children who literally demand my attention 100% of the time despite my objections that yes, the two of you should be able to handle life without me, for simple things like doing the dishes, and going to the bathroom and no I am not going to spend the entire day entertaining you and yes you will spend your every last breath in time out if you don’t give me a few minutes when I ask, or when I need to focus on clean up. It’s not an option, so what did Facebook become? My only interaction with the outside world.
But it was a shallow interaction with the world. It meant I could like and comment on friends photos and pat myself on the back because I had contact with people, it meant that I could get annoyed by what I saw and wonder why in the world would someone post that. And finally I realized that it was just not the right place for me. Superficial facebook relationships were just not good enough. I could never dream what would happen once I decided to leave Facebook behind.
I discovered that yes, I can call friends on the phone and we can talk. I could hear the beautiful voices that I thought I would never hear again and that I was always too busy for. I could reconnect with wonderful people, who I thought I had lost touch with and mostly, once again I could experience what I’ve been missing, deep relationships. Don’t get me wrong, facebook has it’s uses, and in the beginning my intentions were noble, it would mean an easier way to keep in contact with people, but easy quickly became lazy and lazy became superficial.
So here I am a few months later, I think and I’ve only popped back on to wish mazal tov to friends who are getting married, or friends who waited for years for children and were finally blessed with one and get to see what people have been up to.
It’s also meant I have time for things…no seriously, even when I with part time work, part time school, and full time mommy hood, I have time to write, I have time to read, I have time to think. I have time, for the things that actually matter, and I have time to really spend with my kids and I no longer really resent the fact that they take up my entire life and they no longer clamor for attention because I am not as lost in computer land as I used to be.
This also brought about a renewed nursing relationship with the baby I thought I had weaned. Yep, we lasted two days…when Tatty was gone on the third day, YY proceeded to demand nursing and nothing would calm him, when I caved, and cave I did, he stayed latched on for an hour or more, and you could tell his expression was, “oh thank God…this is what I missed!” Thank God. Life is hard sometimes but the major lesson I am learning, is that Hashem wants our lives simple, the more unnecessary things I start to get rid of, the more I realize how much time I have for the things I truly love.
Oh and hits on my blog have nearly doubled. Coincidence??